Its your birthday !

Re-examine

I nearly put off writing this because of an insidious disease that strikes on me from time to time. I suffer a lot from that. and that disease is called procrastination.

That was a joke..if you missed it :)

Its like the friend of mediocre. because it keeps saying that it will get around to do it..somewhere into the never never future of nth ever getting done. But sometimes, things are not ironed up even though you'd put ur best feet. That's life. Inviting chaos into our life could be interesting. TnC is you must have a strong heart.

You might be wondering why in the world ppl would love to invite more unpredictability and frenzy into their life?! But hang in there..its like bombarding ourselves with decision-making situations on a second by second basis. How often do our plans go acc to plan anyway??

So I tell myself to embrace what I cant control, and enjoy the ride a lil more. All I have to do is ACCEPT what happens and CHOOSE how I wanna react to it. This gets easier with practice I think.

Heading down a winding road doesn't have to be scary..At the end of the day, it can all be a lil exhausting. But no matter what I do , I take it as a recommendation to my heart. After all, being alive is, unarguably, the greatest gift there is in this world. All the pleasure and pain wouldn't be possible if our heart are not beating. our eyes not blinking or our heart not singing. (Having a lil emotional for I was informed that someone having kidney failure at the age of 22 and dropped out from university)

Levain

Levain Boulangerie Patisserie KL

National Dance

Assignment Title : One Malaysia

Date : 18 Jan 2011

Every hour lasts 60 minutes. But not all hours are really equal. Sometimes those 60 min will pass almost unnoticed while I am racing thru work, "in flow". Sometimes those 60 min will drift away while I surf the internet.

I think the really critical hour, though, is the first one of our day! Friends and I had discussed bout this last night after dance practice. Bad days tend to start off poorly. Perhaps you overslept, or skip breakfast, or decide not to work out AGAIN. But if we get to start off well, its relatively easy to keep going. Conversely, if I spend the first hour of my day bogged down in trivia or rushing to catch up, I may well find myself getting more and more behind. The day rushes on...or DRAGS..and at the end of it, I dont feel much sense of satisfaction.

What we'd done everyday is important, because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. Everyone seems to be really occupied with assignment, presentation, final year project and final exams. I did not have a weekend. But it was definitely a good working one.

Turned up to a visitation trip to Q-Cells production floor, organized by MESCORP. Q-Cells manufactures crystalline silicon photovoltaic cells while First Solar produces CdTe Cadmium Telluride PV. and I'd attended a talk given by engineers from Q-Cells on "Characteristics and Fabrication of Solar Cells" at NMES lab. Overall, its a fruitful morning to have a visit there :)

a solar cell that produces 0.6V

Fyp presentation is just around the corner. and I'd got this lil surprise. Thank you so much :))

Its mid of January in a blink of an eye. Days have been really hectic and I am right on my magic carpet truly enjoying the hubbub, the whirlwind of ups and downs :)

I'd read a blog by a friend of mine. I think my friend is emotional and this makes her sky looks gloomy. Negative energy is overwhelming. and this reminds me how emotional I'd been previously. and I think I'd changed. and its good! Emotions are not supposed to be sth we have direct and instant power over. We should stop trying to control our emotions. Just, I dunno, since when I'd embraced vulnerability with suitable amount of protection.

Its not about rejecting nor repressing emotions. Its not a combative process. It will eventually bottle up and it is damaging to our health. YYF thinks why dont just accept they are there and there's a positive intention behind them. Understand both the external and internal aspects which create them, amplify them and sustain them. Dont suppress but change ur emotional reactions.

Sometimes, negative emotions are just signals that we're doing things that are not aligned with our values.

Anyway, that's not the main idea why I blog this afternoon. We'd learnt about this poem by Robert Frost many many years ago. and at the age of 22, I truly understand it and each word is piercing.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.

And sorry I could not travel both.

And be one traveler, long I stood.

And looked down one as far as I could.

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

...

And both the morning equally lay.

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh I kept the first for another day.

Yet knowing how way leads on to way.

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh.

Somewhere ages and ages hence.

Two roads diverged in a wood

and I-I took the less travelled by.

And taht has made all the difference.

Ignore him/her. If he/she called you kangaroo, would you grow a pouch and start hopping? It sounds like a child play. But if we think about it, how many times had us struggled because we allowed others to define us.

At times I really wish to share my thoughts with the person who intrigues me most and see how they react. I am not afraid to fully disclose how I feel. After all, if I am going to trust them with my heart, I have to start trusting them will my feelings. Those online instant messages serves a good purpose in keeping ppl in touch. But I am more into face-to-face conversation. Because I enjoy seeing the smile of yours and having eye contact.

Another idea I consider outdated. First of all, the only ppl you're gonna truly impress are my grandma and her girlfriendss. Secondly, if you wanna play this angle, there are a lot more attractive traits than this. It is aint solid gold from my perspective. You can no longer imagine urself not being urself, and it seems silly to be otherwise. If you think it makes you interesting, you're in for a big surprise.

Knowing how to make small talk is a ppl skill, I think. Many ppl dont know how to make small talk. These ppl are usually busy, results oriented individuals that they ahve big goals and they dont see the point of making small talk. Small talk is seen as meaningless conversation motivated by social politeness. Its lack of meaning and value, BUT you do it because that's the proper thing. Well, I couldn't disagree more with this idea. In my definition, small talk is conversation on safe and somewhat superficial subjects like weather, the news, the hottest movie or the latest fashion, but it is not meaningless conversation. Well, we have to learn to stay away from meaningless conversation too. Personally, if I dont enjoy it and dont find significance in it, I do one of two things. I change the subject. Or I eject.

Making small talk makes a lot of sense with ppl we've just met! Imagine asking a person we know for 30 seconds: "So, how's ur sex life?" That is waaayyyy to intrusive! So when I make small talk, the subjects may be superficial for comfort, but they're subjects I care about and I approach in straightforward manner. Just bear in mind that small talk is not a destination. Its just a temporary station. If an interaction with a person goes well, do move the conversation to deeper and more personal topics. and you get to know how to have charisma and engage others in more intimate conversation, building a highly fulfilling social life :)

 

 

random pic

One of my favourite comic book characters is wolverine from x-men. I find that accelerated healing power of his to be super awesome! Now in real life, unless you're a navy seal or sth, you dont have much use for these accelerated physical healing. But I find tremendous value in accelerated emotional healing. A lil self deprecating humor can go a long way. Ppl are social animals. Sometimes sliding in and out of skins more frequently than Lady Gaga wardrobe changes.

2011

Like most kids, I had some vague concept of what I wanted to be. What about you? A cowboy, astronaut, superhero, rock star or maybe a princess? Maybe even all of the above ? :)

How unrealistic or fantastical as these ideas may seem now, they were my first dreams. I think very few ppl are aspired to be the mid-regional assistant or the CEO of some company, pushing papers in the prime of lives yet lot of ppl find themselves in exactly that place as adults.

How should I say. The world's a different place when we got older.

Dreams of being a superhero are crushed by reality. Newton told us that superman dont fly. Other dreams are sapped by daily responsibilities. You still have mouth to feed or some expectation to fulfil. But I believe there's that little part of us that still dreams big.

Define what you want in 2011. Know the steps to achieve the goals, make the time, break the steps and feed ur brain. At the age of 22, I should know the difference of a pipe of dream and an accomplished goal. Every ladder requires steps. Quote from harry : 人生没有目标，跟咸鱼有什么分别？

you can change ur life. if you wanna.

you can change ur clothes. if you wanna.

if you change ur mind. well, that's the way it goes